I don't think I've ever talked to you all about the Hell that was my high school experience. This is mostly because I was trying hard to have that movie-like experience (which seems like your average college experience, but with less politics.). The truth is, high school was complete and utter Hell for me. It was a time when everything had slowly gone completely downhill for me and my mental state spiraled out of control. I had dated a boy for two, nearly three, years only to find out that he had been cheating on me (again) and was having a baby with the girl. He was in jail on my birthday, and didn't get out until months later. It was also a time when I found out that what doctor's thought was depression, was not at all. It was a time when Borderline Personality Disorder became a hidden word and it was a time when I spent endless hours trying to learn as much as I could about it. High school was when nearly 8 members of my family (grandparents, aunts, and uncles) died, and not all from old age. High school was when I tried to kill myself approximately 16 times over the course of four years. It was when I created the scars that from from above my knee cap up to my rib cage. It was when I lost most of my friends, and was left with only one or two that I could trust.
Due to all of that, my grades slipped. Junior year was the worst year, and I let that ruin my grades. I honestly don't know how I managed to make it to senior year. Senior year was better, kind of. There were still two classes that were very low grades, but the rest were all pretty high. I almost didn't get to graduate because I nearly failed English Honors. With horrible grades and a terrible mental state, I made the choice to go to community college. It wasn't what I wanted to do, but it was what I needed. In about two weeks I will be going to my first college class.
Now, as most of you probably know, community college is usually two full years to get the basics out of the way. Most students who chose to transfer to a four year school go as Junior's. This was not what I wanted. I know what I want to major in, I already had two schools I was set on picking between. I thought I had to finish two years before being able to transfer. As it turns out, this is not the case. It seems like everyone knew I could transfer after one year of hard work except for me. So, now I have a real plan and I'm feeling ready for this.
I will be attending Montgomery County Community College (Montco) for a solid year. In that year, I'm going to strive to get a higher GPA than I had in high school. As of right now, I'm reaching for a solid 3.0. It's a good GPA, but I don't want to set my standard too high. 4.0 is a little out there for me. Hopefully I will end up with a 3.2 - 3.5. After one year (hopefully), I will be able to transfer. I was thinking about The School of Visual Arts (SVA), but now that I've finally accepted my major of choice I might go to the same school my sister went to; DeSales. It's a great school, and one of my good friends is going there for Theater. It would be nice to transfer to a school where I had at least one or two friends. As for my major, I've decided I'm going to become a teacher. An Art Teacher to be specific. I want art in my life, and I think I will end up loving to teach. I'm thinking probably high school level art (I know, after just saying how much I hated high school...). I hope maybe I can be a good teacher and help my students who might have a horrible high school experience like me.
So, I think that's about it. In a week or two you all may see a little less of me. I know, I just came back here. I promise I won't be inactive, but I might only be getting on once or twice a week rather than checking up on here almost every day. I apologize for any typos, it's late, I'm tired, and I am just now seeing the massive essay that this journal is!
TL;DR- I found some direction and motivation in my life and want to have a good education and set up a good future for myself.